tomlinsarse:

i’m about to cry

my brother told me that only today he found out that LGBT stood for les/gay/bi/trans instead of lettuce green bacon tomato

he looked at me and he had tears in his eyes and he said in the most horrified voice

i’ve been telling people i like LGBT sandwiches okay that means i’ve been having gay sandwiches

then he started to cry and ran off and yelled

they all think i’ve had gay threesomes!!!!!

i’m actually crying omg 

Spanish exam today. Last one. FUCK AYE.
I mean, MUY BUENO. 

edgur:

life is like a box of chocolates

i don’t have a box of chocolates 



(Source: iraffiruse)

Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’.

plot twist: Johnny Depp is played by Helena Bonham Carter

(Source: funeralfrost)

❝ thank god I had the quadratic equation to calculate the parabola of the ball I just threw. ❞
no one, ever  (via tesalecta)

(Source: zahrabahrabobara)

itsnotcontagiousiswear:

DEAR LORD WHAT HAVE I DONE

You set me up to fucking fail this time.

  • me after forgetting to remove my makeup before having a shower: so yeah..idk, im kinda going for that taylor momsen look?


the-absolute-funniest-posts:

It’s a penguin. With a penguin backpack.

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(Source: vvvivacious)